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Toddler Step #4: Wants Versus Needs
By Cindy | November 5, 2007
Table of contents for Toddler Steps
“Mommy, I want to play video games. I want to watch television. I don’t want to take a nap. I want a lollipop. I want hot dogs (it’s breakfast time). I want to stay home (I’m already running late for an appointment). I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (asked at every meal)!”
This is why moms say NO fifty times a day. We filter our toddlers’ wants versus needs. I tried the philosophy of not using no and that worked for the most part until my son turned three and he discovered the word “want.” Now, I feel like I am saying, “No,” every ten minutes or less. I try redirection and other options, but when I say, “You do not need that right now,” a blank, uncomprehending stare looks at me, followed quickly by, “Why not?” Then I’m scrambling for an explanation that completely boggles the mind of a three year old. Most of the time, I resort to “No, because I said so and I know what’s best for you.”
As a toddler, he understands only what he desires and what makes him feel good. As an adult, we understand the difference between want and need, but we often revert to our basic instinct to cater to our wants because it feels good over our needs. How often do you police yourself when you’re faced with your wants. It’s tough to tell yourself no. I struggle with my own wants throughout the day, everyday. I started looking at my own wants in the same light as my toddler. I have not been telling myself, “NO!” Over the course of the next few days, ask yourself these questions:
- Does my body need (this food)?
- When have I last said “No” to (this want: tv, purchase, Drive Thru, food, etc)?
- Would I say “no” to my child because it’s a want over a need?
You may fill in the blanks for any situation. When you’re faced with a want, think of an alternative that satisfies a need or delays your desire. By delaying your wants, you increase your chances of walking away from an “immediate gratification” circumstance. You will think through the idea rather than giving in to a whim.
A word of caution: This does not mean that you ignore your need for personal time and pleasure. Just as we must provide our children with playtime and enjoyment, you must take care of yourself through quiet time and hobbies. Moderation is important!
Do your wants win over your needs?
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Topics: Fitness Knowledge, Health Knowledge, Nutritional Knowledge |
November 8th, 2007 at 2:53 am
I really enjoyed this article Cindy. Sadly I’m driven by ‘wants’ rather than ‘needs’. Maybe I’m just an aged toddler if truth be known.
November 9th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Hi, Karen. It’s fun being a Toddler!!!
November 26th, 2007 at 8:54 am
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